Supporters
 
Me, being a puller with family and friends who care about me and my pull-free success, I’ve gone through a lot of good and bad support. Over the years my parents have become pros at being supporters, and I’ve become so much more open about my habit. The best thing supporters can do, whether you’re friends, family, or strangers...is SUPPORT! Be positive and understanding. Make sure you’re not too nosy, but keep tabs on how the person you care about is progressing. Below are some “do’s and don’ts” that I’ve found can be helpful (at least for me and others I know) for supporters to know. From parents, siblings, teachers or friends to cousins...you have an impact on the success of a puller!
Parents!
Though I’m not actually a parent, in my opinion, parents have the hardest position in their child’s pulling life. Because you care so much about and love your child so deeply, hopefully you are always looking to do the right thing. The problem is that your idea of the right thing may in fact be the wrong thing.


DON’T: Hair Police
From experience, this may be one of the most common and most hurtful things you can do to worsen your child’s pulling. Monitoring their progress all the time doesn’t seem to be very effective. Asking questions such as “how many did you pull today,” or investigating is not specifically good. Also “spying” isn’t good, it just loses your child’s trust in you. Try not to ask “hinty” questions either...such as “what are you doing in there?” or “are you pulling?” because though you think they may help...most chances they won’t. For me, a while back whenever I would get asked investigative questions, many times I would lie so I wouldn’t be disappointing, and that’s not helping the situation at all. Also don’t ask to look at the pulled spots, if your child is willing that’s great, but it just puts lots of unnecessary pressure on them, and your reaction can make them feel shameful or embarrassed.
DO: Friendly Monitor
No matter what, I always think that keeping up to date and informed to an extent about your child’s pulling is right. The commitment has to go two way though: the puller has to be willing to share their true status, which takes time. Occasionally (such as every couple days)   if they are willing to talk then maybe ask “how are you doing,” but don’t pry too much. The best thing you can do is wait and have them be open to talking with you.
DON’T: Doctor Maniac
I don’t know how many doctors I’ve seen that have claimed they know about Trich, and I don’t want to know. I’m sure it varies for each individual, but for some people seeing therapists and and doctors isn’t the answer. Of course if the relationship between the doctor and puller is good and the progress is there, that’s great, keep going. But if you’re seeing a doctor like most who charge a lot and know little....then you may be wasting your time and money. I’m not saying doctors are a bad thing...you just have to find one who’s informed and right for you! Also, you’re child isn’t crazy or doesn’t need some sort of mental treatment, so if that’s what you’re getting (believe me it’s not the greatest getting “do you ever feel suicidal” numerous times,) then it’s not the right place to be in my opinion.
Friends and Siblings! It’s great that pullers have the support of sisters, brothers or friends to depend on! For me, most of my close friends have known about Trich, and obviously pretty much all of my extended family knows too. All I can say about friends is that the best thing you can do is be positive! Give compliments (if it doesn’t make the puller feel uncomfortable) such as “your eyebrows look nice.” Don’t ask too many questions, and be sure if it’s a private thing to not mention it around anyone else. Some pullers may feel most comfortable if you know about their Trich, but don’t mention it...and that’s ok. For brothers and sisters, just like friends, it really depends on the comfort level of the puller and your relationship how much you talk about Trich. personally, I think it’s healthy for You to talk to your brother or sister about their Trich if they are willing, but otherwise don’t bug them. Another bad thing to do is tattle tale on them to your parents or be a sibling version of the hair police. Just like friends (because you are their friends!) be positive and give compliments when the puller is comfortable! Teachers! I’ve gone through tons of teachers over the years, some are helpful, some aren’t. If you’re a teacher, a puller may ask for your help to help their pulling. I’ve asked teachers in the past to “give me a sign,” such as rubbing their eyebrow, or tapping me to get my attention to stop when I’m pulling, and when they did it, it usually worked. The problem is...the puller has to be comfortable in that situation, and the teacher has to perform the task. Some scenarios may be the puller may want to bring finger toys into class too occupy their hands, so try to be accommodating. Being a teacher, obviously you have to look after the entire class, but if you see the student pulling, and they’ve asked you to do something when you see them pulling, then try to carry out their wishes. In my experience, some teachers may just decide not to, or are to pre-occupied with others to help, and that’s ok, that’s just the way it is. If you as a teacher don’t feel comfortable, then maybe inform your student. No matter what just try to not embarrass the student by making their pulling really obvious to others.
A Few General Tips....
-Know that Trichotillomania wasn’t caused by you or the puller, or anyone else. Trich is just something that happens.
-One of the best things you can do is BE EDUCATED! Learn as much as you can to help the person you know and to make sure you’re doing the right thing.